Treatment 3

The steep learning curve has leveled off; the side effects are starting to feel familiar. Hair is falling out of my head as fast as leaves are falling off the trees. Reality is setting in that this will be a long hard winter. I keep trying to remind myself that spring will come! My dear, dedicated mom came up from DC again on Thursday morning and it was great to see her and hear her tell me that I hadn’t changed too much in a month. David continued his music therapy series with a CD of songs about beauty to remind me to think beautiful thoughts through whatever “hairy” problems I encounter. How he can continue to make me laugh (or at least smile/groan) through this incredibly torturous part of cancer treatment is beyond me. Treatment 3 started off with a long, long wait – the traffic at Dana Farber is unbelievable – too many sick people, too few infusion chairs. Adam postulates that it’s partially because treatments work so well these days; I love his positive outlook and patience in waiting with me. Once we finally got going, the nurses were still incredibly caring and compassionate and the port made the treatment go very fast, so I really can’t complain. Mom was disappointed that Dr. LaCasce was on vacation and couldn’t appreciate her newly polished shoes, but Nurse Barbara seemed to aptly handle my care. She was encouraged to see that the nodes are continuing to shrink, although there is still some lymphedema due to the swollen node under my left arm. This time, my red blood cells were up but my white blood cells were lower than “lowish” so a she prescribed a Neulasta shot as well as a red blood cell shot and a flu shot….I’m really getting to be an expert at tolerating shots. Unfortunately these types of shots can’t go in the port because they need more time to disperse into the body. Thursday night, what I call the “grip” feeling of the anti-nausea meds (there are 5 different drugs!) returned in full force. While somewhat uncomfortable, I’m very glad that cocktail seems to work.

Friday, Mom and I took it easy, worked on our lap tops, and were very glad to hear that my Uncle Joe had come through heart surgery in Cleveland with a promising prognosis. He and my Aunt Karen have had a lot on their plates recently, and it’s so good to hear some good news come their way.

I am very thankful that my day to day side effects still seem to be limited to fatigue and a general low grade stomach ache – it definitely could be much worse. That said, it’s sometimes difficult to know my limits. Saturday Mom and I got up early and went to yoga and the grocery store. Then we went in to the Farber for the Neulasta shot and met up with Adam for lunch. After that we did some shopping, went to the beauty salon, and then met Adam and 4 friends for dinner. This is a normal Saturday for me, unfortunately nothing is normal now and I was almost a puddle by 9:30pm when we finally got home. I quickly melted into some new red, purple and orange flannel pajamas from some sweet friends who know me well and blissfully slept quite well. I am very glad that I’ve been sleeping better lately – sleep doesn’t always come easy these days, especially with “the grip”. Sunday I slept a good part of the day while Mom experimented with my new slow cooker and today I am still extremely exhausted and achy from the Neulasta. I continue to receive messages, cards, recipes, gifts and caring phone calls at the most appropriate moments. This week, I received a prayer shall from an 80 year old woman – a friend of the mother of a colleague who is part of a knitting ministry that works prayers into each stitch….what a beautiful gift. Thank you all for being there for me, it all means so much to me.